12/26/12

How to fight fair


Don't get me wrong: fighting in a relationship is normal, healthy, shows both partners truly care, and is going to be pretty much unavoidable at one point or another. I would even like to go out on a limb and say you never really know someone until you fight with them. However, if you think your fights have started to resemble those of Chris Brown and Rihanna's, or you feel as though you can personally relate to Eminem's song "love the way you lie", there are probably a few things you could change in regards to your fighting tactics. Next time, before you drop the gloves and start to fight dirty...consider the list below.

1. Don't name call...ever.

2. Only fight the fight you are having.... If you're mad that your boyfriend is late to your friends' birthday party, and you end up screaming about the time last October that he was flirting with a coworker at the bar, you will lose all credibility in your argument. Not only that, you will never be able to have a small argument if you are always going out on tangents and creating way bigger problems than there actually are. If you've resolved an argument, leave it that way. When you keep fighting about the same things over and over again that is when your trickling into dangerous territory.

3. Never threaten your significant other or give ultimatums

4. Never walk out on them

5. At some point in the argument try to throw something in to reassure them that this fight will be solved.. such as " I love you, so can you please just stop doing...."



6. Never go to sleep mad at one another. While guys tend to need space to cool off from a fight, the more time you spend avoiding/ignoring your girlfriend the more crazy, irrational thoughts are building up in her head. You may think you are cooling off for a day, while she's shopping and eating ice cream with her girlfriends thinking she's going through a break up.

7.  Never say anything personal... You can never unsay what you said,  people carry it with them long after the fight has been resolved.

8. Have makeup sex

9. If you were wrong, own up to it. Don't worry, there will be plenty of times when your significant other will be the one at fault and has to be the one to drop their pride. But if it was you this time, why waste significant minutes, hours, days, of your life fighting with someone you love? Life's too short, you never want the last words you say to someone to be ones you'll end up regretting indefinitely.

10. Do not get other people involved. First of all, they don't actually care as much as you presume, and second once you are on cloud nine with your partner again, they are left thinking less of them because of the nasty things you said that you don't really mean.

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